Man, some people know how to sell books. I bet Susan Patron, author of "The Higher Power of Lucky," knew exactly what she was doing. What a bonus though, to receive the Newbery award. Gotta love it - a real slap in the face for the book burners out there.

Of course this is about biology! It is about how a minority (fortunately) of repressed, uptight, (very likely) wankers think that it is inappropriate for kids to hear the names of certain body parts. This is why the rest of the developed world views Americans as completely whacked when it comes to sex (do Americans realize that "Sex in the City" is broadcast unedited by the BBC?). On the one hand, sex is used to sell everything here from beer to cleaning products to car engine parts, and many a jihadist out there is fighting the good fight because Americans are so promiscuous; on the other, we aren't actually supposed to use any word that might be associated with sex. After all, although it is very important to God that we procreate, it seems to be more important that we aren't actually enjoying it. Because sex is evil, and we know well from experience that hiding it from kids is a foolproof method for sex prevention - a goal much more important, apparently, than unwanted-child prevention.

We have to protect our kids! So we must order the schools to hide books from them! These words almost always come out of the same mouths that demand complete parental control over everything their kids are 'exposed' to - as if that is going to happen without a sensory deprivation chamber. One of these lovely folks, Rick Jore, is currently the chair of the Montana House Education committee, and just proposed a bill to repeal all mandatory education laws.

But if we work tirelessly to ban those books by liberal scum, it just might be possible to get our kids through life without hearing the word 'scrotum.' With any luck, they will instead use a much more appropriate term, such as from this list of examples so eloquently provided by a fine writer, Eric Lubell:

...sack of Rome, the family jewels, knackers, nads, egg thieves, goolies,
dingleberries, kiwis, coconuts, fuzzy dice, Balzac, fruit stand,
wrinklies, hobgoblins, yikies, hangers, danglers, cobblers, genubies,
jumblies, doorbells, Santa's Little Helpers, berries, nadgers, scrots,
ding-dang-dongs, willy nillys, sumptuaries, Quakers, pinguids,
rutabagas, city cats, glim-jacks, whim-whams, jollies, stuffata,
shallow curiosities, northern liberties, and carnescent massives...

Which is much better than an educated understanding of actual human biology.

Labels: brain, scrotum